If your only motive for giving to someone is to see what you can get back, you will be disappointed. The Bible says, ‘Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.’ When you give yourself to another person for that person’s development and well-being, you are truly giving and God will bless you for it.

If you’re married or a parent, you know this from personal experience. What does your husband or wife value most highly? Money in the bank, or your time freely given? What would your children rather have? A toy, or your undivided attention? The people who love you would rather have you than what you can give them. It’s wise to invest in yourself and your career, but never at the expense of those who matter most. If you succeed in your career but fail with your loved ones, your success will be hollow and your regrets real.

Solomon was famous for his wealth and wisdom. Yet he wrote, ‘As I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind.’ (Ecclesiastes 2:11 NLT) Learn from his mistakes. Don’t invest in things, invest in relationships.

Here is how most relationships often play out:

I win, you lose—I win only once.

You win, I lose—you win only once.

We both win—we win many times.

When you seek the good of others, God promises that good things will come to you (see Ephesians 6:8).