When your spouse breaks your marriage vows, it can break your heart. And after the initial shock wears off, your driving desire can be to hurt them in return. So what should you do instead?

(1) Take time to process your emotions. A quick, ‘I forgive you,’ or just sweeping things under the rug, will sabotage any hope of rebuilding a strong relationship.

(2) If your spouse is a habitual betrayer who wants to live as he or she pleases, God’s Word gives you the right to be set free from them. But don’t move too quickly. Ask yourself if work and family pressures may have caused you to neglect each other. Did you inadvertently open a door for the enemy? These are hard questions—but they must be answered, because the decision you make is one you will live with for the rest of your life.

You may not believe it right now, but God can make a good marriage out of a bad mess. Yes, it will take time—trust can only be rebuilt slowly. And that means:

(a) Learning to be sensitive to one another.

(b) Acknowledging that your spouse may need detailed accountability, and you may have to go the extra mile to rebuild the trust that was lost. But it can happen. ‘The righteous cry out…the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.’ (Psalm 34:17–18 NKJV) God can turn your situation around. If you’ll work with Him—He’ll work with you.