Why does the Bible say, ‘Husbands, love your wives… as Christ… loved the church and gave Himself for her’? Because your wife needs to know you love her, think about her, include her in your plans, and that you consider her opinions, needs, and desires. And if you don’t tell her, she won’t know it! So let’s look at how Jesus loved the church, which began with twelve disciples who were flawed human beings, and learn how you should love your wife.

(1) He loved them unconditionally. Was it always easy? No. But instead of nagging His disciples about what they were or were not, He rejoiced, thinking about what they would become when His grace had worked in their lives. Stop and remember the qualities you saw in your wife that initially attracted you to her. Over the years she may have gained a few kilos, added a few new wrinkles, and sometimes seems to be buried under a mountain of housework. But she’s still the same wonderful person you fell in love with. That’s easy to forget, so you must constantly remind yourself—and her—of it. When roses are exposed to frost, they wither and die, but given the right amount of sunshine and rain—they flourish.

Describing an ideal wife, Solomon writes, ‘Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.’ (Proverbs 31:28 NKJV) Why did these children praise their mother? Because they saw their father do it! So if you’ve been too busy, too self-absorbed, or too distracted, change your ways—and tell your wife how much you love her. (And by the way, wives—that principle works both ways!)